I mean everyone effin knows Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant at sixteen *rolls eyes*, great now she will have an oppurtunity to be a bad mother like her sister!!! Yitedee!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
♥9 Things I Hate About Everyone!!!!!♥
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?... If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
"Let me know what else I can Add to this list....."
----Truly Yours,
♠Stupid Girl♠
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?... If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
"Let me know what else I can Add to this list....."
----Truly Yours,
♠Stupid Girl♠
Vivica Fox covers Sister 2 Sister
After twenty pounds of MAC makeup and some air brushing tadaa!!!..She looks fabulous!
Vivica and one of her unforgivable wigs...
Spice Girls
The spice girls and their 85 kids on stage. Something about the Spice Girls makes me wanna vomit...I'll get back to you when I figure out what it is.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I Wonder
Why do I always have to fart when Im around alot of people? I mean dag. While I was in the house I was alright but as soon as someone comes around my stomach does a little happy dance. And you know when somebody needs to fart 'cause they get real quiet and a vain pops up on their forehead from them clenching their butt cheeks so tight.
Why is it that the slowest driver wants to drive in the fast lane? And dont give me that crap about the speed limit being the same for every lane.
Im going to let you in on a little secret about why the dentist wears a mask when cleaning your teeth. I thought it was to protect them from flying food particles or maybe even to protect them from smelling your bad breath. No that's not it. I wanted to ask my dentist a question about what I could use to keep my breath smelling fresh throughout the day. So he removes the mask and begins to speak and I smell burnt balogna and garlic. Now how in the heck am I supposed to listen to what he says and his breath is raaaaaaannnnnkkk to the nth power?
Why do old people feel that they can jump in front of you in line and think that its okay?
Why do little kids wake up so dag on early in the morning? I had to tell my nephew that Auntie gets up no earlier than noon on Saturdays so I dont want to hear nothing about "breakfast time."
Ooopppsss...Boss is coming...gotta go.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Another Email
I received this one this morning... We should rename this blog to crazy emails...
A seven-year-old Baltimore, Maryland boy was at the center of
a Baltimore courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who
should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents
and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the
degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt
beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out
they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and
learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have
custody of him.
>After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare
officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Baltimore Ravens,
>whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
When I began reading this I was all sad then the part about the Ravens (which is sooo true) lifted my spirits...thanks goes to the Ravens for sucking so bad :-)
---kroeger
A seven-year-old Baltimore, Maryland boy was at the center of
a Baltimore courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who
should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents
and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the
degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt
beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When
the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out
they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and
learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the
judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have
custody of him.
>After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare
officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Baltimore Ravens,
>whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
When I began reading this I was all sad then the part about the Ravens (which is sooo true) lifted my spirits...thanks goes to the Ravens for sucking so bad :-)
---kroeger
♣The Good Napkins♣
This cracked me up!...ahhhhh... the joys of having Girls...My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom.
Didn't they belong in the kitchen?
Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).
Now fast forward a few months.... It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner.
Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.
Mine was to set the table.
When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling.
Next came my father, who roared with laughter.
Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top.
I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.
"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!"
Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?! ????????
-----Truly Yours.....
♠Stupid Girl♠
♥How To Make a Woman Happy♥
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU
MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
:54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
♠HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY♠
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
“I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS FUNNY.....I DID!!!!”
-----Truly Yours......
♠Stupid Girl♠
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU
MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
:54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
♠HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY♠
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
“I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS FUNNY.....I DID!!!!”
-----Truly Yours......
♠Stupid Girl♠
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